My Efforts to Stay Strong

2020 has been a test of resilience for me. Since March, I can’t count the amount of emotional ups and downs I’ve experienced. With winter approaching, I worry about the mental health and wellbeing of not only myself, but that of my family, friends, coworkers, and community members. It’s only October, and we are already experiencing a heavy snow fall, which means the end to patios visits and a lot of outdoor activities. COVID19 cases in our provinces are slowly creeping upwards, so it’s highly possible we will see a repeat of economic shutdowns.

My day time profession is in Human Resources, and I’ve seen first hand the toll the Pandemic has had on my coworkers. The diversity in people’s emotions range from fear, denial, to an utter refusal to feel anything. However, many people are exhibiting similar behavioural changes. People have become less patient with each other. Snapping and casting blame for things that shouldn’t be issues at all. It’s as if they are looking to blame someone for the discomfort they are feeling. Corporately, there is a sense of impending doom. Will we get future contracts? will we have enough workers to do the work we have? What if COVID19 strikes our workplace? Life is hard right now, and personally, I think it will be for some time.

I do believe, however, I will survive this emotional roller coaster. Speaking for myself, I feel I have two options. Succumb to the negatives and let depression set in, or continue to stay focus on the moment and stay strong. I have had to let go of my old self, and rebuild my mental models of the world. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m choosing my thoughts carefully, as I don’t want to waste any bit of my life. The world could end tomorrow, and I’d be pissed if I spent my last day(s) in a foul mood. Not that I see things with rose coloured glasses, I’m not that good. However, I’m more grateful than I’ve ever been for the opportunity to be alive.

Wellness, I think, is a state of mind. I feel if I care for my physical self, show kindness to others, and give myself permission to experiences my own emotions without judgement, I may have a chance to stay strong.

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